YES means NO.
Writing about this has to be one of the ultimate most nerve wracking posts I’m about to do…. (except for my first transformation pic & that’s not even remotely a big deal to me anymore)… but, my goal is always just to try to inspire ONE person when I share these little pieces of myself. If I can just help one person, then I can go to bed knowing that I have “won the day”.
So, here goes.
I’m am a YES sayer. I say YES to everything. I never want people to feel alone (because I have felt alone) & I never want people to feel helpless (because I have felt helpless). If you asked me to come chop down a 600 foot tree in your back yard because you just really needed help, I would most likely say yes. Even though I have zero talents or abilities in that area, I just would feel obligated to say yes and then before you know it, I’d be donning plaid and overalls and starting up a chain saw… (that’s what you wear when you chop down a tree, right?)
OK, that’s not the scary part. Here’s the scary part.
I’ve recently sought out some counseling for some struggles I’ve been facing (SCARY PART) & what I have found is a sense of peace. A sense of validation. A sense of the fact that… it’s okay to have my own journey & my own story that doesn’t necessarily live up to someone else’s idea of perfection or success. It's also been brought to my awareness that one of the most special gifts Em left me is the knowledge that I'm not invincible & life is short. Which is why I have grown to cherish experiences so very much.
This past week, we discussed my “inablilty to say no”… & It was pointed out to me that every time I say YES to something that I do not actually have the talents to be efficient or helpful in, I have to say NO to something else that I actually AM good at, or something that I need (even if it’s sleep! It’s okay to sleep!)… or that I do have the power to excel in. When you always say YES to things that you have to work really hard at figuring out or making it work… you get burnt out. You feel irritated with all of the people that keep asking you to say YES (they’re only asking because I’ve set them up to know the outcome is already going to be YES)… & then you live your live in a state of mediocrity instead of a state of THRIVING or STRIVING for YOUR definition of GREATNESS.
Do you know what the first thing I say NO to (without realizing it) when I say YES to something else?
How quickly do we brush aside the person who cares and loves for us the most in the world because you’re “needed” somewhere else?
This week, I’ve realized….
I’m not needed anywhere I don’t want to be.
This weekend getaway couldn’t have come at a better time for Dave & I as we are coming off of a lot of YESes and have said NO to each other A LOT.
This past weekend, we went to Bedford Springs with our dear friends to kind of RECHARGE OUR HEARTS in a sense. We spent the weekend relaxing, having amazing conversation, reconnecting with each other, saying NO to NOTHING, going to the spa, holding hands, drinking coffee, reading, laying by the pool, WORKING OUT BECAUSE WE LOVE IT!, & just overall- indulging in LIFE.
When Katy & Mike asked if we would be interested in going, the best feeling was knowing I didn’t have to say NO for financial reasons. The summer time for Dave & I is typically really stressful on our budget because I don’t work as much dancing in the summer. We usually get our tax return and immediately put it towards all bills in the summer to be sure that our expenses are covered & then there is little to none left for other things. We schedule our summer vacations way in advance to be sure we can afford it & we just don’t do that much in order to save money.
A scenario that sticks out in my mind is last summer, our first anniversary.. the gift was “paper” so, I got a little journal and wrote all about our first year of marriage in it & wrote that when I was back to teaching & had the cash, I would treat him to a Pens game. I never got around to taking him to that Pens game…
Being able to take him away for a weekend because our finances are different this year due to hard work and Beachbody is a pretty freeing feeling. I don’t mention this to brag at all. This all started as something I did just for the discount on my Shakeology. Then I wanted to be able to pay for our grocery bills… now, it’s grown into being able to just say YES to things that fill my cup. To se myself up for a life full of YESes to US & those we love. My husband is the most giving person- frugal- YES- giving- ALSO YES… & he truly showers me with love and gifts (I’ll have to tell you about our engagement another time) & in the past, I’ve truly been embarrassed that I couldn’t do the same things for him.
I’ve promised myself, after this weekend, I will work my a$$ off to never have to feel like I have to say NO to something that would benefit our family, our marriage, our happiness. It’s okay to say YES to me.
This weekend we celebrated some recent MAJOR successes.
*Exceeding well over $50,000 for LLS.
*Receiving the research grant in Emily’s name.
*Success in my business.
*Our 2nd anniversary approaching…
*Dave going to Switzerland for team USA ball hockey.
*Oh, & my friend Katy we went with… um, she beat cancer.
Look at all those wins. & we had to go away for a weekend to recognize it?
Your call to action is this….
What do you NEED to say YES to & how can you go about making sure you can?
Would a little financial freedom allow you more time?
More resources to say NO to things that you do not have the gifts for?
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