Core de Force: Week 4 Review and FINAL RESULTS
Sitting here, trying to find the words to recap the last 30 days of my health and fitness journey feels a lot like one word: bittersweet.Completing this program was more than just a "check off a box" type of thing for me. I have literally been fighting for my life. For the last 30 days, I have learned more about what I am capable of and what lies within. I never knew I had this inside of me and I never knew I had this much to give.
I am proud.
I am excited.
I am full of joy.
I am sad.
.....all in one breath.
You see, on October 26th I got the all clear after my postpartum appointment to start working out again. On October 31st, Core de Force launched. I had planned that I would do Core de Force after giving birth, but I thought that would be in January of 2017. I thought I would have a baby here on earth in my arms to hold and I thought that I would be inspiring new Mom's that taking time for themselves is okay. Reminding them that you can't pour from an empty cup. When Beachbody introduced this program to us this past July, I was like YES! This will be so great for new Mom's!
And then, life flipped upside down.
And the timing of the launch of this program was Divine Intervention for me.
I remember sitting at my kitchen table the day before I started making my meal plan. And I remember saying to myself....
"You are going to complete this 30 days. You will not miss a day. You will not use food or alcohol for comfort right now. Your kid has a front row seat to your life and she wants to see you live your life well. This is where you start".
On days when I wanted to curl up in a ball and not get out of bed, on days when depression and anxiety took over, on days where I couldn't even remember what day it was or WHERE I was... I dug up a mustard seed of faith and I sweat. Most days, I used this time to be truly angry about my life. But, I worked hard at not allowing that emotion leave the garage. I kicked and punched my fears, anxieties, worries away for that day in that garage. I specifically remember one morning, my head was full of thoughts from the adversary-- "You did this to yourself. God couldn't trust you with a baby, so he took her away. You made bad choices and your baby died" and I remember screaming and asking God to step in because Satan's thoughts were STRONG that day and I needed His grace. I needed him to hold me a little closer that day because the LIES were louder than the Truth.
And almost everyday, I would feel emotions bubble up at the end of my workouts. The last 5 minutes, I could feel it coming, and almost everyday, I would end my workouts sobbing. The pain and grief allowed itself to use my workouts as their safe place and that is where I left it..... in my sweat and it my tears.
Every day, I pressed play. Everyday I got stronger physically, mentally, and most importantly... spiritually.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for 30 days, I pressed play in my garage. I drank my Shakeology EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I followed my meal plan and had 1 treat meal each week. (The week of Thanksgiving, I had two). I had one glass of wine. I never felt deprived, I felt ALIVE.
And let me tell you about what the numbers say:
I LOST ZERO POUNDS DOING THIS PROGRAM! ZERO.
My transformation happened 100% in strength and the way my clothes fit and feel.
I can do more reps, I don't take breaks as often, I fit into some of my old clothes again, I have more energy and I am able to process and think clearly a lot more often now than 30 days ago.
But, for me, the true victory is that I finished something. I set a goal and I crushed it. I did something that nobody can take away from me. I got back on the wagon and I held on tight (for dear life some days!) but I am here.
And I am making progress in a forward motion.
Tomorrow, I will be starting a new program. The program I was in the middle of when I found out I was pregnant and it became too hard to complete.
Tomorrow, I start 22 Minute Hard Corps.
Tomorrow, I start another goal that I will crush.
If you're looking for a support system, a workout program, a community to support you on your journey, fill out the application below and I will be in touch.
All my joy,
Coach Tay
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